


Pros and Cons of Unpopular Shipping

by Kittycattycat



Series: Pros and Cons [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Crying, F/M, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Implied Casual Sex, Kissing, M/M, Multi, One-Sided Attraction, POV Second Person, Pining, Rough Kissing, Roughness, Sloppy Makeouts, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-24 19:36:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20019913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittycattycat/pseuds/Kittycattycat
Summary: I thought about writing small ficlets for Homestuck pairings with a very small AO3 presence— like, 'ten fics and under' small presence.. Even ones I don't like. Even ones I HATE.And I said to myself, "Wouldn't that be neat?"(And yes, I do take requests.)





	1. Eridan♥️/♠️Horuss

You try to think of him as Horuss, try to think of his as his own separate person with his own delegate life but you CAN’T. You just can't separate him. The same nose, the same bluish tinted skin, the same uptight walk, the same speech mannerisms— he isn't Equius, you KNOW he isn't Equius, but hell if you don't want to pretend he is.

“Hey. Blueblood, you hear me?” 

Said blueblood turns to face you know, one eyebrow raised. When he sees that it's you he stands straighter, seems to sweat harder. You wonder if he has the same prejudice against seadwellers as his dancestor. Not that it matters, necessarily, but you're curious.

“Highb— …Eridan,” he says with a respectful nod. His use of casual names almost annoys you. You know he's only doing it because other trolls in the new world have told him to, but you want him to stop doing it immediately. 

The two of you are alone in a hallway corridor. It's so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Horuss already knows this song and dance, he’s done it all before. His eyes flicker around cautiously for a few brief moments, before he quickly struts over and mashes his face so hard against yours you're half convinced it'll form a dark violet bruise later.

His lips are rough and chapped, but god if it doesn't keep the illusion up for you. It's not really, but in your mind you're kissing Equius, with his stupid strength and his stupid sweating problem and his stupid over the top manners. It's Equius, the idiot landdweller you were willing to spare because you loved him so goddamn much but we're too much of a coward to ever confess to before he fucking died. Everything changed after that. He may have been back, but you know you lost your chance.

You're gripping onto his horns to keep the both of you together when your hand slips just a bit. Your fingertips brush lightly against the spot where Equius’ horn would have been broken, an accident from childhood, and it's so sudden you hardly notice but you're crying, you're crying, you hiccup into the kiss and Horuss tries to pull back but you won't let him. There are twin streams of violet-tinted tears rolling down your cheeks now, and you're sobbing more than kissing while your fingers continue to shakily run over his horns again and again.

Horuss growls. He knows what you're doing. He only kisses you fiercer.

You try to ignore that he's thinking about Cronus.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Completely unironic confession: I live for Zahhak/Ampora relationships.


	2. John♠️Kanaya

She found you annoying from the first day, Kanaya did, and you had accepted that with some hesitance. Your foolish act of pretending to be Rose during what was supposed to be their first conversation that day had nearly ruined their relationship from the get-go— or perhaps you accidentally kickstarted it with your stupid charade? Either way, it's simply not truthful to say that you had stepped with your best foot forward. 

Still, though, her hating you was something you never truly considered. It wasn't until you caught her time after time giving you burning stares from across the room that the thought even really entered your mind. You were aware, just vaguely, of troll dating customs and quadrants and all that because of Karkat’s constant lectures over the subjects, but it didn't mean you actually understood. Apparently, if you were reading this in all the right ways which you almost certainly were not, Kanaya might have hated you the way you had once hated Terezi? With those bubbling feelings in her stomach when she saw you and not wanting you dead but definitely wanting you to shut your damn mouth. You wonder if she wants to hold your hand AND slap you both at the same time. It was strange.

You had thought Kanaya was a lesbian. You mean, not to be an asshole and stereotype this alien girl who's planet doesn't even have lesbian stereotypes, but she does kinda have that aesthetic about her. Plus she actually IS dating Rose. But to be fair, you'd thought Rose was a lesbian too until she had casually mentioned being bisexual, and to be even fairer, you're pretty sure that all trolls are just pansexual by default? Can you even say that considering the fact that they don't even HAVE sexualities at all? Anyways, you have no idea. Maybe Kanaya doesn't hate you, or maybe Kanaya is just platonically hating you because she thinks you're a stupid douchebag and if you said anything to Karkat about this whole mess he'd say ‘WOW, NO SHIT EGBERT SHE ACTUALLY JUST HATES YOU TOTALLY PLATONICALLY, DUH. IT’S SO OBVIOUS, GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER JOHN.’

You nearly convinced yourself that Kanaya just flat-out disliked you. You were pretty sure you didn't particularly dislike her, your experiences with the rainbowdrinker primarily ranging from semi-positive to neutral. Even still, the day when she grabbed your arm in an otherwise empty hallway and pinned you to the wall, kissing you and tearing at your lips until both your mouths were smeared with bright red blood and dark black lipstick, you realized that somewhere in the process you started biting her back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know Kanaya is a canon lesbian.
> 
> No, I don't actually ship her with John in literally any way.
> 
> Yes, I am posting this anyways, because I could not give less of a shit.


End file.
